Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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