you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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