WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
