i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
