The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
