Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This baby is an asshole
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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