I seem to have left my pride at pride
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
