so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize