...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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