You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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