walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
