we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
false alarm, still single
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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