They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
