our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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