Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This house was built for laser tag.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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