Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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