so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My ATM looks so different sober.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
