Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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