I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
