Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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