Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
