So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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