Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
