real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
