ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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