you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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