Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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