She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
