I need help removing her.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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