He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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