dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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