if you like me you must not know who I am
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
