i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
