This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
