I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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