There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
