I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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