I've blown a few things in my day
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just blew my weed a kiss
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
