If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
