New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize