I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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