How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
