i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is wine microwaveable?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
