She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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