yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
His nipple licking is glorious
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