they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
