and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
