dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
