I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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