Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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