Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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