i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
