Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You need a sexual gate keeper
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
