Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
